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Post by North Korea on Apr 21, 2011 23:21:29 GMT -5
21 April 2011
South Korea keeps rejecting our offers for talks on the four North Koreans they're holding there, so we got ten of the ones who returned from the South to go to a news conference and tell about all the bad things the South did while they were there.
I mean, I bet the damn Southerners did something to get those four to stay. They probably beat them or threatened them or something, so that's what we told those ten to say. It was pretty good, I think. Maybe now the world will see the South for what it is: a society of barbarians trying to pass itself off as civilized. Lying dogs. My Brother is truly disgraceful.
For a powerful and prosperous nation,임 상 규((Alright, this is kind of a messed up story. Apparently the North Koreans who chose to return to the North after being detained in South Korea after drifting there on a fishing boat are now accusing the South of beating them and threatening them while they were there, as well as actually being kidnapped by the South instead of just drifting there. I don't believe a word of that--maybe the part about 'oh, you can eat like this all the time if you stay,' but not much else. The North Korean government probably pressured the ones who returned to say those things, so that is what I'm going with. Full article here: www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5i-X5Bl7p_OsLZwQ2P_pGG4suI4YQ?docId=5f19812d69e94814a4fca1c756347211 ALSO, I know I owe posts, dajfks. I tried to write one tonight but only got about halfway because I'm writer's blocked pretty bad. :< I WILL GET AT LEAST ONE DONE THIS WEEKEND.))
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Post by North Korea on Apr 24, 2011 21:27:35 GMT -5
((I'm just gonna...skip the past couple of days. :l There wasn't much Korea news anyway.))
24 April 2011
The Prime Minister of Australia visited a couple of days ago.
I cannot tell you how much I absolutely detest her. She is nearly as bad as the South Koreans or the Americans, except I rarely have to deal with her ever. Thankfully...
So arrogant. She reminds me of an American.
It's like the Americans spread some sort of awful disease that makes people behave like idiots.
How wonderful, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Apr 26, 2011 7:38:09 GMT -5
((Forgot again...))
25 April 2011
We are expecting former president Jimmy Carter to arrive here from America tomorrow. I admit, he is one of only two or three Americans I can actually stand.
And, I'm not sure if it's because I actually sort of like him or because he might just be...sneakily persuasive, but he always manages to convince us to do things. But he seems alright, really. Unlike most Americans, I feel like he actually tries to keep our interests in mind. We always end up making agreements with him.
That's probably not such a good habit to get into...
Anticipating, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Apr 26, 2011 22:43:46 GMT -5
26 April 2011
So, Carter and three other former heads of state from different countries are supposed to be arriving here today. I could really care less about the other three though. They were from...Norway or Ireland or something, but you know, those nations have ignored me for so long I could care less.
Carter is the one I'm interested in. Thing usually turn out alright when we talk to him. He's here for three days though he makes a stop in South Korea tomorrow. Hopefully three days is enough to get some things sorted out...
Anticipating, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Apr 27, 2011 23:13:56 GMT -5
27 April 2011
Uggh... Things are starting to look really bad here. New figures are saying parts of the country will actually run out of food by June. It doesn't help at all that the rest of the world finds food aid unnecessary, or that any possible food aid, even if okay'd today, wouldn't get here for three months.
So... we are actually very glad Carter is here right now. We made it very clear to him today that North Korea is indeed willing to discuss shutting down the nuclear program, but if and only if we get some kind of security guarantee from the US first. I saw what happened in Libya. They gave up their nuclear program, and it left them open for invasion. I refuse to give up mine unless I can be absolutely certain I'm not going to be invaded as soon as I do.
Of course, by the time the Americans agree to that, they'll probably be on the brink of starving us out anyway, so we might as well just forge ahead with the program.
Funny how that all plays out, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Apr 28, 2011 23:01:54 GMT -5
28 April 2011
See...this is why we like Carter.
Today was his last day here, but apparently as soon as he got to Seoul, he said that the US and South Korea withholding food aid was a human rights violation on their part. It's about time someone else told them that. Every time I say it, everyone just blows it off as another 'North Korea said it so it doesn't count' sort of thing. It's even better than it's an American who said it.
I really doubt those arrogant Americans are going to listen to him, but it's a shot, at least.
And, of course, I don't expect anything except "Oh North Korea should apologize for those attacks first" from South Korea.
Well, they can forget that. I don't feel like apologizing at all at this rate.
How Wonderful, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Apr 30, 2011 0:42:23 GMT -5
29 April 2011
We just got word...
That the UN will be sending $200 million in food aid.
I cannot express how...truly relieved I am to hear that. We just need to make sure they actually follow through with it. If South Korea or anyone tries to stop them, I swear...
Some not-pretty things will happen.
At long last, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on May 1, 2011 23:28:01 GMT -5
((There's been nothing to update on the past couple of days really. I will do a journal tomorrow though because I'm sure N. Korea will release some kind of statement about Osama bin Laden's death.))
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Post by North Korea on May 2, 2011 22:54:17 GMT -5
((Nope, no statement on bin Laden by North Korea yet. But I bet you something will happen because no doubt the whole thing is making Kim Jong Il paranoid.))
2 May 2011
Well, I must say... America is really awful at finding a terrorist in the desert. It only took him ten years. I'll tell you, our special agents could have done it in ten days. But I'd much rather watch America run around in a desert for ten years, yes?
In other news, we started taking up mobile devices. We realize that by the border with China, it is possible to pick up on foreign signals with that, and that just won't do. We wouldn't want them getting poisoned by capitalist ideals, now would we? So to solve that problem, we are simply holding drives where people will go turn them in to the government, and if we catch someone with one after a drive, they will face punishment.
It is for their own good really...
Love live the Dear Leader, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on May 4, 2011 6:25:30 GMT -5
3 May 2011
Mm...they're all making quite a fuss over those two Japanese citizens we're holding.
But what can I say? They were drug trafficking. And they should not have even been here in the first place. If it was my choice, they wouldn't have even been in the country. I swear it must be Japan's mission to get me in trouble at every possible turn...
I was hoping that stuff wouldn't resurface for a while but...I can't do anything about it.
Long live the Dear Leader, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on May 5, 2011 0:03:18 GMT -5
((There will be F-bombs.)) 4 May 2011
I can't believe what I'm reading.
Sometimes I stalk South Korean news sites, just to see what they're saying about us, yes? Well, some of them have absolutely insufferable opinions.
Look at this! I found this in some South Korean conservative's editorial.
"Why can't we do to Kim Jong-il, as [the US did] to Bin Laden? ... Just as the US killed Bin Laden for the September 11, 2001 terror attacks, we should retaliate with the death of Kim Jong-il for the attacks on the warship Cheonan and Yeonpyeong Island.
Americans hunt down a terrorist for a crime done as far back as 10 years ago ... We should learn the American way of implementing justice."
And they fucking wonder why I never want to cooperate.
It's because I find stuff like this all over South's cyber space, and it sure does not make me ever want to see his fucking face again.
It's these kind of things that just confirm that the US has gotten inside my idiot Brother's head, and that South has absolutely zero interest in talking to me except for humiliating me and looking like some sort of ridiculous hero to the UN.
Well fuck the UN. Fuck talking to South. We are not related. We are not brothers.
We just happen to look alike. How unfortunate.
Long live the absolutely glorious and amazing Dear Leader,임 상 규((So apparently North Korea (and Uzbekistan, oddly enough) decided the whole Osama bin Laden thing wasn't important enough for them to talk about. Still no statement from N. Korea, but Kyu probably has his own opinion, so... And people in South Korea are starting to wonder why the US doesn't just go in and take out Kim Jong Il, and, why they don't just do it themselves. Fun, fun, fun~))
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Post by North Korea on May 7, 2011 22:43:51 GMT -5
((NK news is starting to really slow down, so I'll probably start doing this every couple of days instead of every day.))
7 May 2011
The Dear Leader just released a statement calling for more fertilizer production. I'm really glad he did, considering how things are going here regarding crops. He said,"The most important task is to focus efforts on keeping the production of fertilizers going at a high rate and send greater quantity of fertilizers to the socialist cooperative fields." We really do need that too... Agricultural production has been way down, especially with the hard winter we had.
Time to start hounding the people at the chemical complex then.
Long live the Dear Leader, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on May 10, 2011 22:31:45 GMT -5
10 May 2011
Mm, what an odd turn of events.
Usually it is us who have to keep offering and offering to talk to the South. But today we got a message that Lee Myung Bak of South Korea has offered to invite us to the Nuclear Security Summit in Seoul next year...
But. Only if we make a firm pledge toward denuclearization.
No.
It's so very wonderful how he always makes these offers, but attaches conditions he knows we will not agree to. We will never agree to denuclearization unless we have a security guarantee from the United States first. I will skip the Summit if it means I stay better protected.
Nice try, South.
For Power and Prosperity, 임 상 규[/size]
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Post by North Korea on May 11, 2011 23:55:37 GMT -5
11 May 2011
Sent the official rejection message to the South today.
I will not be so easily convinced to give up my nuclear program. Pledging to give it up in order to discuss giving it up? No. I have to be sure giving it up doesn't mean I'm going to be put in a compromised position, and based on what has been the pattern of South Korea's talk offers, that is what they are trying to do: get me to agree to all their ridiculous conditions so they can invade as soon as the North's disarmed.
Do they take me for some sort of idiot? They're insane if they think I'll ever agree to such conditions.
This is why we get no where.
For Power and Prosperity, 임 상 규[/size]
((Yesterday: predict North will reject South's offer. Today: go read a North Korea article and sure enough they rejected.
I hate when I'm right.))
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Post by North Korea on May 15, 2011 22:49:41 GMT -5
15 May 2011
Unthinkable. Absolutely unthinkable.
Oh yes, certainly not planning to invade me, are you South? No no no, of course not! That's certainly not why you host joint military exercises with America on a regular basis, and that's certainly not why those exercises practice over running the North.
Oh, but not just that!
Oh no, not just that. South has started organizing provisional governments for North Korean provinces that would take power after the North's supposed collapse.
And yet they still say they are not planning an invasion of the North. Because obviously they wouldn't already be planning to put new governments in place if they weren't. I see.
Unthinkable.
Long Live the Dear Leader,임 상 규(( english.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2011/05/16/2011051600554.html ))
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