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Post by North Korea on Dec 15, 2010 2:02:53 GMT -5
14 December 2010
I figure that, since I am a great nation, and great nations leave great legacies, I should consider it my duty to leave a record of my thoughts for future nations. Of course, I am keeping this journal well hidden from the eyes of any…pesky creatures…as well as my Dear Leader. My Dear Leader keeps things secret from me, so why not I from him? I’m sure he has one of these things too.
I suppose I should start by saying something about South Korea, since that is the obvious thing. He’s started running drills again. He says it’s in case I do something. I think that’s just his excuse for rehearsing an invasion of my country. And they wonder why I have that nuclear facility? Why wouldn’t I, when my Brother is openly training his armies for a takeover? And on top of that, getting America and Japan in on it too? Is it such a surprise, really? He’s pushing this peninsula to the brink of war! I will retaliate if I have to! The dark clouds of nuclear war are hanging over the peninsula, and Seoul will burn brightly through the dark in a sea of flame if even one of his soldiers sets foot on the North’s soil! I feel like war could erupt any day now…one slip is all it takes. But I’m ready. I’m not afraid.
Praise the Dear Leader, 임 상 규
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Notes:
-Dear Leader = Kim Jong Il -임 상 규 = Im Sang Kyu in Hangeul. -The North Korean news agency honestly did use the phrases, "dark clouds of nuclear war" and, "Seoul will burn in a sea of flame." Poetic.
((Well, I have some time on my hands, and I thought it’d be fun to kind of explore North’s inner thoughts, so I’m doing a journal! It’s gonna be a present day sort of thing. Here and now. If North Korea’s on the news, expect me to cover it here.
I’ll put a warning on the post if there’s some less appropriate things in it, but I can’t see warnings being for much more than language (unless I discover that NK has a tendency to ramble about violent executions in great detail in his spare time). ))
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Post by North Korea on Dec 15, 2010 23:26:12 GMT -5
15 December 2010
Dear Leader is considering allowing inspectors come in. Nuclear inspectors. Hm, I am not sure how I feel about this.
China really wants us to let the inspectors in but...I honestly don't want to. I don't want capitalist rats spying on our technology and plotting ways to sabotage it! It's just stupid!
And yet...I do trust Yao-hyung... Maybe that is why the Dear Leader considers it, yes? He knows China is smart. It might be for my own good anyway. Maybe if they see that there's nothing dangerous they will leave me alone for a while. Why should I have anything to hide anyway? That American I let in was clearly impressed; maybe I should open up a little and show off a bit, yes?
Power and Prosperity,
임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Dec 17, 2010 0:53:14 GMT -5
16 December 2010
That guy from America landed here today. Bill Richardson? A governor from one of America's miserable little states. It's a real shame he can't be Korean, because I remember him visiting a few times before and I actually kind of like him. He's not visiting as an envoy of America's government either, which makes me like him more!
He actually came at our request!
That is nice, yes? Not being forced to allow someone in, and not being denied for requesting talks. There's not a lot he can do really, but I will listen to what he has to say...maybe.
It all depends, yes? On what he really wants. Just because I like him now doesn't mean I will five minutes from now. We'll see...
With anticipation,
임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Dec 18, 2010 0:53:21 GMT -5
17 December 2010
Damnit, South.
I've warned him repeatedly not to do those drills. Live fire artillery drills. But is he listening? No. Of course not. You'd think he doesn't care about those little islands at all (which aren't his anyway; they're mine). I've told him he will not rehearse his invasion strategies against me! Especially so close! You know how quickly that could turn into a real invasion? It's in his best interest not to! But no, here he is, about to do artillery drills on them, after I've threatened something deadlier than Yeonpyeong if he does. It's like he wants me to bomb him again! If this keeps up, I might just have to take him up on that invitation!
I swear, he's the stupidest person on the face of the planet.
Power and prosperity,
임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Dec 19, 2010 0:57:31 GMT -5
18 December 2010
America's trying to get involved now too.
"Oh, don't forget, I'm going to have 20 guys over there while Yong Soo's doing his drills!" he says. Like that's going to deter me. Just using them as a human shield is all he's doing. It's not going to stop me. Honestly. If he puts them in my line of fire, that's his fault. They can't say I didn't warn them. America's only put those soldiers there because he thinks I wouldn't dare fire if he's got his troops there. Right.
And they didn't think I'd invade South Korea 60 years ago either.
With growing impatience,
임 상 규
((North Korea actually released a bunch of dialogue regarding the 20 or so American soldiers that will be on-site when South Korea carries out its artillery drills. Here's what they said:
"If the South Koreans dare to carry out the live-fire drill and cross the line, the situation in the Korean peninsula will explode and a disastrous outcome cannot be avoided. We have already declared that we will punish mercilessly without hesitation provokers who invade our sovereignty and territory. Our military does not speak empty words. [The US defence department] has threatened us not to forget that Americans and foreign correspondents are at the site of the drill. America is providing the human shields. This shows America will not hesitate to bring one country's peace and stability into chaos. We will deal and calculate with America accurately on all extreme incidents and consequences on the Korean peninsula."
And they didn't elaborate further on that last part.))
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Post by North Korea on Dec 20, 2010 0:58:43 GMT -5
19 December 2010
Well... He talked us into it. He really does have a way with words, Bill Richardson.
It looks like we'll be allowing UN nuclear inspectors into the country. I guess. I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but if it gets them off my back for a while...
And also, they talked about selling a bunch of fuel rods to other countries. Someone said something about South Korea, but that's insane. I would never give him something he could use against me. Absolutely not.
As for the artillery drills, he's starting those soon too. I haven't decided what I'm doing about that yet.
Long live the Dear Leader,
임 상 규[/size]
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Post by North Korea on Dec 20, 2010 20:15:12 GMT -5
((Mild language warning. Just one word. xD))
20 December 2010
Yes, well... I decided not to do anything. It's not worth it anyway. I mean, I told them I was going to retaliate, but what's the point of retaliating if they're expecting it? If I'm going to retaliate, I'm going to wait for things to die down first. Do it when they least expect it, yes? More fun that way.
And besides, this just proves that South is trying to provoke me. He went ahead even though I said I would retaliate. If I had retaliated, would he not have retaliated to my retaliation? Wouldn't that be a war, in essence? It's clear he's trying to start something. He just wants me to make the first strike since he doesn't have the nerve to do it himself. He doesn't want to look like the bad guy, so he's trying to provoke me into doing it.
Bastard.
Power and Prosperity,
임 상 규
PS-- I just remembered there is supposed to be some sort of lunar eclipse tonight, yes? Visible from parts of Korea for a while. I'm sure it will be brilliant in the skies of my wonderful country, undisturbed by the light and air pollution of lesser nations like South and Japan.
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Post by North Korea on Dec 22, 2010 0:57:56 GMT -5
((Language again.))
21 December 2010
The Russians said that they would return to Six Party Talks. That makes three of us. Myself, Hyung, and Russia.
So now all I have to do is get the Japanese bastard, my stupid traitor of a twin, and the capitalist pig to agree to return as well.
Well, since stirring up some drama got two of them back... I'll see what I can do.
I think I can get Japan back easy enough. And maybe the pig. It's Brother I'm worried about.
Gears are turning, 임 상 규
PS- The eclipse. There was a cloud in the way.[/size]
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Post by North Korea on Dec 23, 2010 0:27:21 GMT -5
22 December 2010
He started doing drills again today.
This time it was on the East Coast though. I suppose I normally wouldn't care as much that it's over there, since the border's not disputed, but here's the catch:
He's doing this for three days.
Three days. And here's the other thing: he says, "Oh, they're prescheduled! They have nothing to do with Yeonpyeong! It's just regular procedure!" Like I'm supposed to believe that. See, this is all part of his little plan: Shoot stuff in my water, provoke me into attacking, do drills to try and provoke me again, and then start a war when I do. He's looking for an excuse to invade without looking like he started it, so he's trying to get me to look like the aggressor so he has an excuse to. Like it's just a counterattack, yes? So, since I didn't attack back the first time, he's trying it again to see what I do. It's clever, I admit.
I'm getting really sick of it.
With waning patience, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Dec 23, 2010 23:24:28 GMT -5
23 December 2010
Hm. I just...don't feel good today.
Maybe it's the shifting of power to Jong Un thing, or just the tensions in general. Actually I've felt kind of sick for a while now, but it just seems worse today. Sleeping more would probably help, but I can never sleep anyway, and medications just makes me sick, so it's not like sleep pills would make me feel better either. Counter-productive, really.
I'm still upset over those drills. I issued a fresh statement on those today, so maybe he'll let up for a while. I'm just afraid he and America are using those drills as a smokescreen for a real attack. They're also letting them light up that Christmas tree on the border. I don't really want them to. It's anti-North propaganda is what it is. Although, I do admit...it's sort of pretty. There's nothing that colorful in Pyongyang this time of year.
Although, if they keep it lit, I might just have to see if it looks better in flames.
But that's enough writing for today. I can't think straight...
Praise the Dear Leader, 임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Dec 25, 2010 0:24:01 GMT -5
24 December 2010
It's the eve of that Western holiday. Keurisseumasseu? Something like that.
And I still feel awful. I didn't even go to the DMZ today. I do that every day, usually. But I just felt too bad today. At least I didn't have to tolerate any of that Keurisseumasseu junk like I usually do. Since I didn't go, I wasn't close enough to hear any of South and America's soldiers' propoganda (which, I've discovered, they sing on this holiday). The Americans mostly, but it's still stupid.
I'm going back to bed. I hope I get over this soon.
Long live the Dear Leader, 임 상 규
((NK's the Grinch. xD
American soldiers in Korea probably don't really go around singing Christmas carols along the DMZ, but I imagine they do something to celebrate since they're away from home. Maybe a stray soldier or two singing on their way to their posts. Mostly I just needed something to write about since Korea news has been eerily quiet in the past few days.
Anyway, I'm traveling the next two days, so no journals during that time unless we get the internet at Grandpa's house working. Until my return, Jeulge-un Keurisseumasseu! (Merry Christmas) ))
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Post by North Korea on Dec 28, 2010 0:10:39 GMT -5
27 December 2010
I was so sick the past few days I couldn't even get myself to write in my journal. I don't know what's wrong with me...
But whatever. Nothing important happened anyway...
Except... That South is trying to sabotage me again. Now, I was sick in bed the past few days, but from what I heard, one of my train's was derailed. And, from what I also heard, it's not just that the tracks were bad, it's that they were so badly damaged that they must have been tampered with. And just what was that train carrying? The things for the dear Young Leader's birthday celebration! Or course Brother would choose to sabotage that, yes? Lovely.
Is this his idea of getting back at me for Yeonpyeong? How childish.
I'm actually somewhat disappointed that he couldn't come up with something less...Yong Soo-ish.
For a great future under our Young Leader,
임 상 규
((I'm back! And I saw this story and couldn't help but giggle a little.))
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Post by North Korea on Dec 29, 2010 0:59:10 GMT -5
28 December 2010
I felt a little better today. I still stayed home, but I felt better than I have in the past few days. You know...I can't help but wonder if this whole sickness thing was a plot by South, but I have no idea how he would've gone about it honestly.
Maybe I'm...just not as strong as I used to be.
But no! I shouldn't talk that way! I am a great nation, and I must stand strong for my people! They can't ever see me feeling sorry for myself! I bet that's South's plan! To demoralize me! I won't fall for it. I'm sure I'll be better soon!
Long live our Dear Leader,
임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Dec 29, 2010 22:58:13 GMT -5
29 December 2010
I felt well enough to go to the DMZ today. It was still kind of miserable being out there in the cold while sick, but anything for the Dear Leader. Our country needs protecting.
I was in a a watch tower this time, keeping an eye on the Southern side of the border with binoculars. It can get pretty tedious just sitting there watching jeeps go back and forth, but you never know when they might try something, so you can't take your eye off them, ever.
Not to mention, you have to watch the rest of the line too, to make sure nothing tries to sneak past while you're watching the jeeps. My head was hurting by the end of the day, but once I got my evening tea I felt a bit better.
Ever loyal,
임 상 규
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Post by North Korea on Dec 31, 2010 0:30:12 GMT -5
30 December 2010
Today was a very special day indeed.
Today, to mark the tenth anniversary of diplomatic ties with Britain, we aired the British film...what was it called? "Bend It Like Beckham?" It's a British film about soccer. First Western film to air in my country, too, but we had to censor a bunch of things because it was inappropriate. Silly Western ideals... I couldn't let them poison the minds of my people.
Otherwise, I actually rather liked it since I am a fan of soccer myself.
For our diplomacy with Britain,
임 상 규
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