Quality time in a rough time. [Lithuania & Latvia]

[latvia]

The small blonde peered out of his door. The huge halls were empty. The windows were so large, it made the halls seem even lonelier and added a tint of white light from the snow outside. But the clouds were covering the sky that day, so the illumination was still dim and soft. The silence was absolute, but that did not mean that he was totally in the green either. His suspicions caused him to tremble, but only slightly. Latvia slowly edged out of his room. His back seemed glued to the wall as he crept along. Still shaking, and turning his head side to side every once in a while. Sweat began to form, though it was a bit chilly. Yes, at any moment, that huge lug would come bounding down the hall with a smile on his face. But no expression on that man’s face would ever make Latvia’s heart calm. Whether is was a grimace or a grin, it meant trouble.

“H…How d…does someone sm…smile when doing such aw…awf…f…ful th…things?” he whispered to himself, stuttering because of his persistent shaking and his general fear of Russia. He shut his eyes tight, trying to get the thoughts out of his head.

Latvia just could not understand what he had done to deserve this treatment. Sure, he was sometimes…blunt, but oh, he didn’t mean it! Even when he wasn’t saying things, sometimes Mr.Russia would just come in and harass him. Though he really should listen to his brothers and not say so much…or do so much. Come to think of it, almost anything he did angered the large nation. Even if he did something to be nice, it was always taken as bad.

Finally he came upon a staircase. Running as fast as he could, (and he is quite quick) he darted across the hall to the steps. He almost tripped on the way there, but that didn’t matter now. He quickly, but quietly scanned the staircase, constantly checking his surroundings. After reaching the top, there was another hall that he had to sneak around in. Though, if Latvia had thought about it, it was a useless endeavor. Even if he saw Russia coming, that most likely meant Russia saw him and that was the end of it. He couldn’t just ignore Ivan and run away. But this made him feel a tad safer, though he trembled none the less. A few more halls and he had reached his destination. It had taken a while, but he finally was here. A small smile crept onto his face, though his brows were still reflecting worry.

He pushed the doors of the library open slowly, peering around first. No, Russia was not here it seemed. Perfect. The Library was a huge room, made even bigger looking by the seemingly infinite dark reddish-brown bookshelves. Some of the books here probably weighed half of what he weighed. Latvia felt so small in this place. But in this case, he was okay with that. In several places, old father clocks could be heard. He now almost had a skip to his step. The library was one of his favourite places. Because he lived with Russia, his Russian was becoming quite good. It was forced on him, but in this case it was useful. Still, while he read Russian books sometimes, he had a secret. In the far corner of the massive library, Latvia was keeping some books hidden: Latvian books. Books about his culture and history, but mainly stories and fairytales. He really liked those. His room was not large, and Latvia was afraid that Russia or anyone under him might find them and punish him for reading them. What’s worse…take them away…

The other advantage to the Library, was if Russia did come in, he would hear the nations heavy footsteps and could possibly hide behind various bookshelves until he reached the door. Of course, sometimes sniffling would give him away. But it was a better chance than just about any room in the house.

Since it was a bit cold, Latvia decided to borrow a small blanket from one of the couches by the fire places. Reading by the fire was such a nice way to read! But… a fire would let Russia know he was here.Humming a small tune, Raivis walked to the said corner. Behind a bookshelf that was almost against the wall, lay his beloved books. He reached down and picked one up. He had already read this one a several times, but he loved it very much. “Lāčplēsis”, or, The Bear Slayer, was the title. The young man sat against the wall, knees drawn up to his body, and began to read.

“H….he is so amazing.” Latvia said softly to himself, as he read some pages. “Ripping up bears and defeating giants…if I were that strong…I…I could…” Latvia’s eyes glossed over for a split second. But then quickly he shook his head deliriously. “N…No I don’t…want to… to think of that!” He closed his eyes and buried his face into his knees. He could feel warm tears spreading onto the fabric. Soon though, with the chilling air, they became so cold he shivered. Strong enough to rip the jaws off a bear off or not…the idea of fighting Russia was scary! Although, in Raivis’ case…just about any violence was scary.

He soon pushed that thought out of his mind, and continued along, reading until he grew quite sleepy. His mind drifted, but he was too smart to sleep here. Besides...It was getting to the good part...

[Lithuania]

It was late, and Toris Lorinaitis was exhausted. It had been a particularly demanding day, between his usual schedule of cooking, cleaning and running around after Ivan. And then there were always Russia's helpful little “suggestions” throughout the day, which the brunette knew not to interpret as anything less than orders.

But he wasn't at breaking point. Not yet, and not today. Of course, that would invariably come, as Ivan grew progressively less and less realistic about how much housework the eldest Baltic could handle, and then he would start to slip up, and eventually his lover would lose patience and take out his frustrations on him. And then somehow things would go back to square one. But he hadn't reached that point yet, and Toris, for now, was managing to maintain an uneasy kind of equilibrium, despite the pallor of his skin and the dark circles beneath his eyes.

It was better that way. Aside from the fact that he genuinely cared about the Russian's wellbeing, for better or worse, keeping him as happy and contended and loved as possible and taking the brunt of his displeasure when things were rough meant that he stood some chance of keeping him away from the other most precious things to him in the house...his brothers. And in particular, little Latvia, who was so very young and fragile. Eduard was smart enough and aloof enough to stay out of trouble, but naïve, trembling little Raivis didn't always have the same self-preservation instincts.

He sighed as he looked down at the bundle of paperwork in his arms. It would be well past midnight before he finished most of these forms, and Ivan never really seemed to appreciate what a struggle it was for him to sift his way through all the impossible bureaucratic language and difficult Cyrillic. While he was quite fluent in spoken Russian, reading and writing it had always felt alien and uncomfortable to him, no matter how often he practised.

Still, there was no point in dwelling on how badly he wanted to go to bed. Perhaps he could get away with postponing them until tomorrow, but if he could finish all the paperwork, then wake Ivan in the morning with breakfast, a smile, a kiss and a clear list of chores, then it would put the other man in a slightly more benign mood. At least, until some outside influence inevitably disturbed his peace of mind.

Nudging the door open to the library, he yawned quietly and found that, to his surprise, one of the little gas lamps in the corner was already lit. But Eduard was in his room, and he'd left Ivan quite happily drinking vodka in his study. Shaking his head to himself disapprovingly, he approached the little huddled figure in the corner and looked down.

“Latvia...?” he said quietly, noticing the streaks of partially dried tears on the little blonde's face, illuminated in the lamplight. Setting the bundle of papers down on a nearby armchair, he knelt beside the younger nation, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder and glancing at what he was reading.

“Raivis...” his eyes went wide and frightened for a moment at the sight of the Latvian books, but he immediately fought to keep the alarm from his expression. “Where did you get these?” he pressed quietly, keeping his tone as calm as possible.

“You know that we're not allowed books like these. Vany...um...Russia would be very upset if he saw them.” He looked down at the pages. He could understand just enough Latvian to be able to discern that the boy was reading fairy tales. He smiled sadly and lost all his nerve to reprimand the kid he'd adopted as a little brother. After all, he might be a nation, but underneath it all he was a scared, lost kid who just wanted to believe in heroes and bear-slayers.

“Ah... but it doesn't matter,” he relented quickly. “We'll hide them away, and Ivan will never find out. But try not to do it again.”

[latvia]

Latvia's sleep was interrupted. He heard his name, both of them. He jolted awake suddenly...only to realize (along with actually seeing his brother) that Russia would not call him by his human name. It was his brother, Lithuania, another one of the Baltic states. He looked tired, but that sympathetic tone in his voice was there as always. Latvia really appreciated that.

But he was not pleased apparently... he saw his precious Latvian books. Latvia clenched them instinctively as Toris scolded him lightly. He...he wouldn't take it away would he?

" Ah...but it doesn't matter..."

Yes! Latvia knew he was on his side. This made the young boy wonder if Lithuania had some books of his own. If he didn't...maybe he could share his! They always made him feel better about things, so maybe Lithuania could too! Latvia always felt Russia bullied him the most. But he was pretty sure that Lithuania had it just as hard when he thought about it. Yet...Lithuania wasn't always crying or anything. Latvia admired that so much. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't hold it all together like Toris could. Even if Lithuania looked stressed, he seemed so much stronger...

"Thank you Lithuania!" he said softly, with a big smile. "Don't worry! I...I think..." He lowered his head, but was still looking up at the older nation. He whispered, "I think I have...I have a really good hiding place! He...." Latvia paused and gulped a little, "He won't find it, I think..." Then the small nation nodded, almost more to re-assure himself than his fellow Baltic. He looked up at Toris and smiled again. “ You can borrow them too! I think…their great stories…”

Raivis looked over sideways slightly and saw the paperwork. Did Ivan really think Lithuania could do all of this today!? He was a cruel man indeed. If Lithuania did have any romantic relationship with Russia, Latvia could not tell. No, to him love was about snuggles and kisses. When people loved each other, they didn’t hurt them or make them sad right? There was only warmth… Toris got anything but that from Russia when Latvia was around. But at the same time, down in the depths of his mind, Latvia probably did not even know, he had some suspicions. If it were true, his heart would break. Raivis would hate to imagine Lithuania living with this monster any longer than needed. They would break away soon right? The small blonde heard of all the conflicts that were going on. This cold war…Something was going to happen, and hopefully that something would include their freedom. Latvia only had only had a short but sweet taste of freedom. And oh…how he longed for it once again. Once they were free, they could be happy again. But he himself was not strong enough to do anything about it.

“Toris…that’s…a lot of work. Uh… I… could help with it. I think I should!“ he added, voice raising a bit at the end. “I…I can’t believe he… he expects so much… so much out of you!” he looked distraught. None the less, he continued, “It’s not fair…” his eyes watered a little, but he refused to sniffle as of now. He looked down again and tried to blink back the tears. “Nothing is ever fair…h…here…”

[Lithuania]

“ You can borrow them too! I think…they're great stories…”

He smiled indulgently and shook his head. The last thing he needed was for Ivan to catch him with forbidden books. He was barely managing to keep the Soviet nation content as it was and he knew from painful experience that any small slip-up would lead to disastrous consequences. As it was, he had usually managed to quietly shield his younger brother from the worst of Ivan's cruel streak, but he wasn't sure how he would manage to protect him if the books were found in his language. Perhaps he would find a way...Ivan always did tend to prefer taking out his frustrations on his “favourite”. His treatment of the younger Baltics was undeniably cruel, but it was often a disinterested cruelty. Still, he told himself sternly, it was all speculation. He had no intention of Ivan ever being allowed to discover the books in the first place.

He shook his head to himself and wondered how it had ever become so dangerous for a small boy to read fairy tales.

The brunette's pained smile brightened a little at Raivis' well-intentioned offer to help him with his paperwork, but it faded almost as soon as it flitted across his lips, as the smaller nation began to well up with barely suppressed tears. He couldn't blame the boy for being a bundle of tears and nerves most of the time. Latvia had never had a chance, had never been given the space and freedom to grow as a nation. From the day and hour that he'd been born, Ivan had been crushing him down.

“Nothing is ever fair…h…here…”

“It's not so bad...” he soothed, kneeling down beside the little blonde and putting a hand on his trembling shoulder. He looked Raivis in the eye and forced another patient smile, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “I know it looks like a lot of work, but it's really not so bad,” he lied. “I can finish this in no time at all.”

Propping himself up against one of the bookshelves and leaning back, he ran a hand tiredly through his hair and shifted to a cross-legged position on the floor beside his brother. “Ivan can be a little unrealistic sometimes, but it's nothing I can't handle.” He laughed weakly and added lamely with a half-hearted grin, “Besides, it's good to keep busy, right? I'll finish all this work tonight, and bring it to him in the morning, and then he'll have no choice but to be really pleased and perhaps he'll be in a good mood tomorrow.”

He didn't believe his own words for a second and for a moment he felt monstrously guilty about all of the lies he was forever telling to Raivis, but anything that would soothe the fragile nation was worth it. “I know it seems like things are really unfair...but it'll be ok. You just have to keep your chin up and be brave."

He cleared his throat guiltily as he thought of his lover. When he looked at little Latvia and the state he was in, his relationship with Russia seemed traitorous. "Vanya's not so dreadful, really..." He faltered. "Not deep down. He just has a lot of pain and sorrow in his history, and sometimes when that happens to people, they take a turn for the worse.”

It was no consolation and he knew it, so instead he pulled the smaller boy into an abrupt hug. “I'm sorry things are like this, Raivis,” he mumbled into his shoulder. “But it won't be forever...I promise.”

[latvia]

"No time...at all...?" Latvia asked, doubt in his shaky voice. Well, Raivis' opinion, Lithuania always did look at the cup half full. Even if it wasn't. Was there something in the papers he didn't want him to see? If that was the case then he really didn't want to help! But...Latvia wanted to do something to help his brother, besides angering Ivan and shaking all the time. Maybe Toris was afraid he'd become shaky and mess up whatever he was signing or writing on them? In any case, it seemed he wouldn't allow him to help.

"Ivan can be a little unrealistic sometimes, but it's nothing I can't handle."

Latvia didn't want to look rude, so he didn't and held in a nervous but loud laugh. "A little?! He... He can't be serious... What's happened to him? He's become so...almost... welcoming of this whole situation...!" The small nation shivered a bit at the thought. "That's scary..." Now Latvia was really worried for his brother.

"G...Good mood! I... That would be g-good! I'd like that" he added after Toris had finished, making a small smile. But if Russia just expected him to do those papers...wouldn't he be in a regular mood anyway? But how could he tell? Ivans...."moods" as his brother called them always seemed to end the same way...someone being hurt. Latvia was to blame for some of those instances however.

"...you just have to keep your chin up and be brave."

Latvia's eyes lit up even more. Although he would probably wimp out when the situation came, Latvia like the idea of being brave! Brave like the bear-killer, and brave like his older brother! He nodded, his eyes still slightly wet. He could try anyway! Maybe that would be better than doing a lot of Toris' paperwork! That would show how much he wanted to help! But then...a horrible realization came to Latvia. How was he to be brave? He was pretty sure Lithuania didn't mean he wanted Latvia to try to rip Russia's jaws apart! But he was also aware that standing up for himself made Ivan furious... No matter what approach he took he seemed to get in trouble...Was it the outlook that Toris wanted him to have? Whatever his big brother said, he should do it as best as possible! Lithuania seemed to deal with this whole ordeal better, so he should try to be like that! But he still wasn't sure how to go about it... He looked down and meekly muttered, almost to quite to hear, "B...but how do...I be...behave bravely...?"

The next part of the conversation made Latvia think. Yes, Raivis had learned some things of Russia's harsh past. He also knew better than anyone that you couldn't really say anything unless you had experienced it yourself. But...Latvia had had his rough times too right!? But he never wanted to bully anyone! He pouted a little as he thought of the injustice. If he were the bigger nation! It would be different! That was his thought pattern. No, Latvia was naive of course, but not naive enough to not experience hate. And he was absolutely sure he hated Ivan. His inner-child could not see far enough past himself to have sympathy for the nation. He didn't answer, but looked off to the side and to the floor. He was ashamed that he could not have the same kind heart as Lithuania, however, at the same time, he didn't want to have any more of his sadness spent on the likes of him. His brows furrowed a bit and he frowned slightly. No, not for him.

[Lithuania]

"B...but how do...I be...behave bravely...?"

Toris looked down at the doubt etched on his younger brother's face and smiled sadly. He wondered if perhaps trying to defend Ivan had been the wrong thing to say. But then, the Lithuanian's conscience wouldn't allow him to share a bed with his lover and then insult him behind his back.

He smiled and pulled Raivis into a loose embrace, ruffling his hair. “Being brave isn't all about slaying bears, you know,” he told the younger nation softly. “The thing that takes most courage is just facing up to the things that scare you. And you already do that, every day, don't you?”

He let go of Latvia and pulled his knees up to his chin contemplatively, staring into the little flame from the gas lamp. “Sometimes, the hardest and bravest thing you can do is to forgive someone for what they do to you. If you can do that, then you're secretly the stronger person. And it means that you'll never end up bitter...or turn into someone scary.”

The brunette bit his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Ivan hurts people because other people have hurt him in the past. He couldn't learn to forgive them, so he just started trying to be big and scary and strong, to stop it ever happening to him again. He thinks that he's protecting himself, but really, he's just stopping himself from being happy.”

Looking down at Raivis, his young face etched with fear, Toris felt a sudden rush of worry. “I remember a time...a long time ago before you were born...when I was still pretty young too...I met this little boy out in the snow. He was freezing half to death and he was so very, very scared and everyone was picking on him. He had a really horrible life...but at that time I was more concerned about my own worries and my own empire.”

Toris swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. “The next time I met him, he had grown up, bigger and stronger than me. We faced off on the battlefield. I was strong then...a really great knight. But still...he'd grown up so much stronger, and he took away everything I had. He did it because...when he was small...nobody had ever shown him any kindness. So he decided that the only way to survive in this world was to become so powerful that you could control everyone around you.”

The Lithuanian reached over and patted Ravis' hand awkwardly. “One day, you'll grow up really strong too. You'll be independent. I promise. And when that happens, the most important thing is that you don't ever start to hurt people, or take revenge. When I say you have to be brave...what I mean is that you have to always, always hold on to the good inside you, always guard the kind part of you with everything you have. Even in the face of impossible and terrible things.”

He ran his hand tiredly through his hair and sighed. “Ivan has so much good in him. I know it's really hard to see, but it's there...it really, honestly is. He's just lost sight of it all, because his history is coloured with so much blood and pain. It's had a bad effect on his mind. But I'm trying to help him. And you know...” He paused for a moment, his voice faltering. “Some days I really, really believe that I can reach him.”

He laughed sadly at his own sentimentality. “But you don't have to worry, Raivis. I'll always look out for you, even after you become independent.”

[latvia]

It wasn't all about fighting bears, but facing up to the things that scared you according to his big brother. But Raivis made his mind go in circles. Well, bears were something he was scared of! And sometimes, Russia was like a bear!. And sometimes bears were like Russia! And he never faced up to either of those did he? Which of the two was scarier?...Most definitely Russia...
"Maybe I'm thinking to hard on this..."

"Y...yes...maybe...somewhat." he looked down nervously.

Latvia listened carefully to the next part of the conversation. But it made him fidget in his place.

“Sometimes, the hardest and bravest thing you can do is to forgive someone for what they do to you. If you can do that, then you're secretly the stronger person. And it means that you'll never end up bitter...or turn into someone scary.”

Forgiving Ivan…but he hadn’t even said sorry yet, let alone allowed him to be a free nation once more! Latvia was wimpy, perhaps, but he thought his brother was too kind! Ivan deserved anything but forgiveness. Why did he insist so much? What had Russia done to garner any pity!? But…not forgiving Ivan wouldn’t make him scary and mean would it? He was just looking out for himself! Raivis stared at Lithuania, trying to hide a doubtful expression from appearing on his face.

“Ivan hurts people because other people have hurt him in the past. He couldn't learn to forgive them, so he just started trying to be big and scary and strong, to stop it ever happening to him again. He thinks that he's protecting himself, but really, he's just stopping himself from being happy.”

That made a little more sense now. Latvia blinked and then looked to the side again, but more in thought than shame. It was hard to imagine someone who could hurt Ivan, and it was hard to imagine him being scary like Russia. He wondered what it would be like. Was it even possible? Latvia was always, admittedly, a cry-baby. But deep down, the idea was an interesting prospect to him. If he could scare all the mean nations who bullied him…he wouldn’t need to be afraid of being ruled over or captured. As a matter of fact, he’d be sure to make sure they knew how strong he was so they’d never bother him ever again!

That’s when it hit him. Perhaps Lithuania was right! The temptation was strong...he thought. The temptation for revenge and domination. His face changed from thoughtful to surprised and somewhat fearful. He didn’t want to become like Ivan, ever.

The story Lithuania told interested Latvia, it was only at the end that he realized who this lost boy in the snow was and had become. That was so fascinating. Not that he blamed Lithuania, but if he had helped young Russia…would he be in this predicament now? Perhaps attitude really did play a role! And from what his brother said, the reason Russia became so vile was because of the way he viewed his former situation and enemies. No…Latvia did not want to be that way. And now, maybe even a tiny bit, Latvia felt a bit sorry for Ivan.

Latvia’s eyes gleamed(only amplified by the shiny tears) at the thought of being independent and strong.And when Lithuania instructed him to be kind, he beamed. His big brother was entrusting something to him! Being entrsusted with something was a little scary, but at the same time he really wanted to be given a task. ”No! I..I wouldn’t never bully anyone! I’ll…”, he paused, blushing a bit at admitting his admiration. He looked away shyly. “I’ll be… just like you!”

Lithuania then spoke bout his desire to help Ivan. In a way, it seemed like he was speaking to himself, dreamily. Like this “reaching” he wanted to do what one of his greatest aspirations.

“Th…thankyou…for protecting me…To…Toris…!But, wha…what about when you become independent…then you… will get to leave Russia’s house…Are you going to stay…and try to help him? How would you…even do that…? Even…even if he needs it…I don’t thi..think he thinks he needs help…Erm…maybe he won’t…let you. So wi…will you…” Latvia trailed off.

[Lithuania]

Lithuania smiled awkwardly at Raivis' naïve declaration that he would be just like him. In some ways, that was the last thing he wanted for the younger nation. While he never wanted to see the little blonde lose the kindness and good in him which made him so very worth protecting, he still wouldn't wish his own circumstances on anyone in the world. He didn't want Raivis to become a prisoner to his own kindness either.


“Th…thankyou…for protecting me…To…Toris…!But, wha…what about when you become independent…then you… will get to leave Russia’s house…Are you going to stay…and try to help him? How would you…even do that…? Even…even if he needs it…I don’t thi..think he thinks he needs help…Erm…maybe he won’t…let you. So wi…will you…”

Toris looked down at the smaller nation and felt a little cold weight pressing on his chest. It wasn't that he didn't want independence. He ached for it, yearned for the time when he would be able to live in his own homeland again, when he would be free to make his own choices. But at the same time, the idea of leaving Ivan filled him with a kind of panicked dread.

“I'll stay to help Ivan for as long as I can,” he said vaguely. “Hopefully, even when I'm independent, perhaps he'll still accept that I'm his friend.”

It was highly unlikely, the brunette thought to himself. In truth, he had no idea what would happen to Ivan, or to the strange romance they'd become embroiled in for almost a century. He suspected that, in the state the Russian was in just now, if he were to leave, it would destroy everything they had between them. But then, perhaps if he were able to persevere a little longer, to nurse the Russian back to some kind of sanity...

He laughed to himself and shook his head at his own wishful thinking. “That doesn't matter right now anyway, Raivis. I mean, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, and I'm sure that when we do become independent, then I'll know what the right thing to do is. Sometimes you just have to trust that everything will be all right.”

Smiling suddenly, a slightly reckless idea came to him and he looked down at Raivis with a grin. “Look, I have an idea. It's really late now, and everyone is asleep in bed, so how about we...very secretly...sneak down to the kitchen and get you some hot cocoa?” There was no chance that they would be caught, he reasoned. After all, he made himself tea in the middle of the night all the time and Ivan never seemed to bother.

“It can be our very own adventure,” he declared with an exaggerated nod. "Besides," he added with a slight wince, "We should probably find a better hiding place for that book of yours. Perhaps a room that Ivan doesn't go into so often."

[latvia]

As long as he could would be a long time, after all...this was Russia he was talking about. But Latvia wouldn't say more, this....was what he wanted right? He only hoped that maybe he would just come to see that Russia wasn't savable...He would do his best to try to be the better person by not hating Russia...but that didn't mean he would only think positively of him. Was that what his dear brother was doing...?

Lithuania was smart though, he wouldn't let his little brother fret too much more on things he couldn't change. Raivis nodded his head as Lithuania asked for him not to worry about the subject any further. However, at the aspect of hot cocoa, Latvia's eyes glowed, accented even more by their watery gleam. He, Lithuania, and Estonia all had different tastes; but everyone likes a nice hot cup of cocoa on a chilly winter's night! He nodded , almost getting dizzy. His brother, the small nation thought, could brew the best tea, coffee, or any kind of beverage! Latvia really enjoyed the drinks his brother made, especially since his brother seemed to be the type to put his best into every cup. he also was right about his book, if Russia was at a certain angle, or even close to the wall, his books could easily be seen. And it wouldn't be too hard to guess who they belonged to. Blonde hair flopping back and forth, Latvia nodded again. He gathered up the books in his arms and gave a small smile. "Let's...!" Latvia said excitedly, but then pausing and bringing his shoulders up and head down started over in a small whisper,"Let's go..."

An adventure! He surely didn't get to have one like this very often. Usually his adventures were life threatening...or at least they usually ended in pain. But this was one that just couldn't go wrong right? Latvia started running for the door. However after a few steps, he realized his boots made a hard click on the smooth floor. He began to put his feet down much more slowly and with care. The door creaked as he opened it, and he jumped a bit, heart pounding at the sound. He looked around, the halls were empty, and quite eerie at that. The tall pillars and glassy cold light from outside gave the whole house a feeling of desertion. The truth was far from that. This house always seemed eerie to Latvia, especially considering that many... bad things had happened here. Not just to him but to others. Sometimes he felt that the events seemed to replay themselves...except you couldn't see them, only feel them. Though he had walked down this hall a number of times, the effect appeared to be even more noticeable now. His eyes darted from hall, to hall, corner to corner. He then wondered if Russia, Lithuania or Estonia ever felt the same way... when walking down these halls alone.

Ah! But he wasn't alone! He turned slowly to his big brother, to see what he looked like. Did he feel the same presence? He also wanted the okay to keep going. "It's just my imagination I'm s...sure...." he thought. Suddenly, he felt silly. The staircase was in sight, and it was quite ridiculous to be afraid of things that weren't happening and were gone. And he had told his big brother he'd be brave! This was so far from brave it hurt. He looked over at the staircase and walked swiftly to it. Latvia gripped the rail of the stairs and started to go down. It was so much darker there...he decided he'd slow down. He turned his head slightly, to see his brother out of the corner of his eye. For some reason he felt like he had to keep his eye on him or he'd lose sight of him. Or that Toris would just wait there and before the small nation knew it, he'd be by himself in the dark....

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((OOC I feel Im being overly dramatic? XD and I'm so sorry this took so long, I lost this post twice and I was quite sad. Sorry for any errors!))

[Lithuania]

Toris smiled to himself as he let Raivis lead the way out into the hall, relieved that the interaction between them had taken a lighter turn. He felt so very guilty over the smaller boy's situation, the way he was forced into captivity. At least, the brunette thought to himself, he was old. He'd been around for centuries, fought many wars, had witnessed the rise and fall of his own little empire and tasted both victory and defeat. Toris was, in many ways, an old man. Latvia was just a kid who had never had that chance, who had never really tasted the giddy heights of freedom. When things were too unbearable, Toris could lie in bed at night and close his eyes and take himself back to the rye fields and his time with Poland, or even to the Winter Palace, and those earlier times with Ivan before he lost his mind completely. Raivis had no such memories to take refuge in, and so Toris decided that it should be his responsibility to create at least a few bursts of happiness in the boy's otherwise bleak existence.

Shaking his head with a slight smile, he tucked the forbidden book under his arm and prayed that Ivan wouldn't catch them. Sneaking down to the kitchen was one thing entirely, which might be met with slight annoyance. But that book had the potential to get them into serious trouble. Still, as long as he was the one holding it, he could be the one to take the blame.

He watched Ravis hesitate at the top of the dark staircase and he crept up beside the boy. Fumbling in his pocket, he produced a half-empty box of matches and struck one, letting it crackle to life. Putting one hand on Latvia's shoulder, he handed the tiny flame to him.

“Even the bravest of adventurers need to be able to see where they're going,” he informed the nervous boy solemnly, but he couldn't help the hint of a smile which tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Come on,” he whispered, and guided Ravis down the large staircase quickly and quietly, heading for the cold, empty kitchen. Taking another match, he lit one of the tiny oil lamps which sat on the windowsill, not wanting to flood the room with too much light. He set the incriminating book aside for now on one of the work surfaces and gestured to the kitchen table while he set to work quietly bringing the stove to life to boil some milk.

“It can't be very nice for you, being stuck in this old house all the time,” Toris mused aloud. “But sometimes Ivan sends me out into Moscow on errands. Perhaps next time, I can persuade him to let you come with me too. It's not very exciting, but it's a change of scenery at least.”

He turned to Latvia, suddenly serious. "Raivis, I'm sorry that you have to live like this. It's not fair. At least, in my case, I can say that I lost, fair and square in battle, and I can accept that. You never had the chance to even defend yourself."

He added some cocoa powder to the milk and sat down beside the Latvian boy for a moment, slipping an arm around his shoulder. "I think you're really brave. And don't forget, that the hero always has to go through terrible trials before he wins in the end. Even Lāčplēsis did."

[latvia]

Latvia's smile was shy, but genuine as he took the candle. He cupped it in his hand and watched the flames. The copper reflection danced in his now bright eyes. His brother knew what to do; he began to lead the young nation down the steps and to the kitchen. Latvia couldn't help but think about what would happen if his brother was gone...he couldn't be guided by the hand forever. But for now, he accepted it happily. After all, besides when cowering in the presence of Russia, when did he have the time to spend some quality time with his brother.

On the first floor now, which was somehow less frightening to Latvia, they made their way down another hall and to the kitchen. the Kitchen actually wasn't that big in comparison to the other kitchens in manors of this size. The island in the middle had a cutting board and a few knives left from supper. Near the window by the sink, various spices and herbs hung, still attached to the stem and dried out. The cabinet doors were old and squeaky, Latvia hoped they wouldn't disturb anyone from their sleep....

Moscow...definitely not Latvia's favourite place, but Lithuania was right...it would be nice to get out and get some fresh air and something different to look at. And he couldn't say he minded seeing the huge architecture, or watching the people scurry about.

"Y...Yes!", he responded a little late, due to daydreaming about it. "I'd like that a lot! As....as long as you don't get in trouble for...for asking...Toris...."

He watched as his brother carefully boiled the milk and prepared the ingredients. he liked to watch, but then Lithuania took him off guard. He stepped back and looked up into his brothers eyes. he could tell this subject, this aspect of Latvia's detainment, really hurt his big brother. The blonde's shoulder's dropped a little. He didn't mind sympathy, but he didn't want Lithuania to feel so...upset about it! after all, it wasn't his fault.

"Br...brother....it's...okay. Even... if...I had had that chance..." he looked to the side, eyes downcast. "I doubt it would have made any difference." he muttered lowly, ashamed of the fact, but wanting to be truthful. he knew that there was no way he could have won, and since it just would have hurt even more than the way Russia usually bullied him... he decided he would try to accept the fact that this was not the worse thing. Still he wish he could be like the other nations, defending his people, even if losing was imminent. He scooted back to his brother and put a re-assuring hand on his brother's arm. Looking up, he gave a smile to Lithuania, trying to show that everything was alright. Or...even if it wasn't he'd pull through.

Latvia took the hot cup into his hands. His ice-cold fingertips instantly heated up, and sent a warm feeling throughout his little body. He felt even more fuzzy inside when his brother complimented him. When he used the name of the Latvian hero, he was even more happy. It made him so ecstatic to know that Lithuania knew his stories too!

"I think you're really brave. And don't forget, that the hero always has to go through terrible trials before he wins in the end. Even Lāčplēsis did."

"Thank you Toris." he nodded, took a sip of the hot cocoa(which he found absolutely perfect) and continued. "I have learned a lot about that from you though!....uh...! You...." he turned his head to the side and chuckled a little and blushed slightly. Sometimes, he thought, he could be so cheesy. "You...You're just as much as a hero to me as Lāčplēsis! I'll try my best to be brave and forgive Ivan...s...someday. Anyway! I'll always look up to you!...Until I...I'm taller th...than you that is!" he added, taking one hand off the mug to cover his mouth as he laughed a little.