I hads a thought~

[America]

Okay, so maybe I'm just being especially morbid or something this week (then again, it HAS been going pretty shittily for me), but I started wondering about World War Three from a Hetalia perspective.

Specifically, I was wondering about if it started, like, today. Who'd kick it off? Who'd be on each side? How would everybody's strategy go? I didn't really think about anyone winning, because guessing that's just too complicated and dependent on what people would do and I don't have the interest or attention span for something like that.

In my head, the whole mess kicks off when North Korea (and maybe some of his buddies - he has buddies, right?) starts flinging nukes in the general direction of America. After that it turned into wondering how Alfred would look with a big-ass burn scar over where his left eye used to be (left eye=New York) and eventually deciding that win or lose, there's probably gonna still be something left that will call itself America at the end of the mess. Probably.

...So, does anyone have any thoughts? Or am I the only creepy person who thinks about this kind of stuff? Your scenarios don't have to be anywhere near mine or anything like that either.

*shrugs*

[North Korea]

Oh man, a couple weeks ago I was gonna post something like this because I had just read a book where they averted WWIII. xD

So, my thoughts based on Peace by Jeff Nesbit!

Iran and Israel. It starts here. Iran decides, "Hey guys, we're gonna build a crap ton of nuclear weapons because we're mad about Palestine and there's nothing you guys can do about it." And NK's just hanging out somewhere like, "Join the club, bro!" But Israel is like, "....NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT." And bombs Iran's nuclear facilities. With nukes.

As you can imagine, this doesn't go over well.

America is like, "HOLY-- WHAT. WE HAVE TO SUPPORT ISRAEL 'COS THEY'RE OUR ALLIES BUT DUUUUDE THEY USED NUKES THAT'S NOT COOL MAN."

And Iran is somewhere like, "Okay, they nuked us, we nuke them back." So they start flinging nukes everywhere. North Korea helps.

Oh, by the way, Iran also decides the Strait of Hormuz would be a nice thing to take control of because half the world's oil passes through there. They do so.

Russia says he ain't gonna take that because, hey, a big country needs a lot of oil. So he decides he's gonna get it by invading countries he used to control like Azerbaijan and take over their oil fields.

And America is still over there somewhere freaking out because "HOLY CRAP THERE ARE NUKES FLYING AND WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT ISRAEL AND THE SOVIET UNION MIGHT REFORM AND NORTH KOREA'S TROLLING SOUTH KOREA AGAIN AND WE OWE CHINA A HUGE DEBT BUT CHINA'S SIDING WITH RUSSIA AND DJFKSLDJ."

I'm sorry, I had caffeine today. >w>

But srsly. Peace by Jeff Nesbit. Awesome book, well researched, scared the living daylights out of me because of how plausible it is, super recent, etc.

[Germany]

I have to admit I haven't given too much thought to a hypothetical WWIII, nor done as much research as I could have on the likely players, but based on what I do know right now I would lay money on it starting somewhere in the Middle East and being mostly over oil.

Who would start it? I think Iran would be the most likely, with Pakistan or Saudi Arabia being second most likely. I don't consider North Korea to be too likely ( though they certainly have the ability! ) to kick it off because, at least under their current leader, they seem to be mostly bark and very little bite. They also have a relatively small need for oil in comparison to many other countries.

I'd give it a 50-50 chance of nukes being involved — most governments are extremely hesitant to use them if they can help it, for obvious reasons.

I agree with the popular stance that if WWIII is fought with nukes, WWIV will be fought with sticks and stones.

[France]

I have thought about this, because I am just morbid like that. I agree with the theory that a middle eastern nation would start it, and that it would be concerning oil.

I suspect the larger nations would all get involved of course, for the reason that oil is such a valuable resource, and there is such an insane need for it. I am not entirely sure about sides at this point though. I guess it would all depend on how things played out? I can see China and Russia as allies if conditions are right. I also suspect America would side with Israel. Not too sure though on a lot of them, since I don't happen to know all the politics involved.

[juni]

Jun 4, 2011 3:57:59 GMT -5 France said:

I don't happen to know all the politics involved.

If it boils down to Israel vs Iran being the kickoff for the war, then most of the arab nations will either side with Israel & America, or declare them selves neutral...simply because most of them (and especially Saudi Arabia and Iraq) hate Iran more for various reasons.

Who would side with whom? Hard to say, given that most nations of the world are annoyed with both Israel and Iran at the moment; I'd have to say it would depend heavily upon who shot first, and the circumstances of that shot. If Iran took the overt initiative to get rid of Israel (which is unlikely, since they prefer to attack via terrorist orgs and proxy governments, but hey, this is just a "what if"), then I'm pretty sure most of the world would come down on Iran in one way or another. If Israel fired first though (most likely to fulfill the threat they made last year that they would do everything in their power to stop iran from becoming a nuclear power), then things become much more murky...

Sweden would be neutral again, that much is certain.

[Spain]

Well, I guess I should at least jump into a discussion once in a while -- though I would firmly hope that everyone's economies become so tied to each other that another huge war cannot happen again. I'll throw it out there that my mentor once said that "If you give everyone an Audi, they'll be like, 'Let's fight! But... DO NOT DESTROY MY STUFF.'"

Or something like that. PLEASE take that as a joke. >:c

Anyway, it seems like we all have an agreement on where the war would start. Though if someone launched an attack on the United States, would it not just be like any war where the USA is involved, where he would just go after whoever bombed/attacked/dishonored him? It seems like any scenario like that would fall under the same situation as the Gulf Wars (it's hard to call them that, since they were so recent) as at the moment, the USA is pretty much a hegemony and perceived as being able to take care of himself (militarily at least). Though if nuclear weapons were involved, it would almost seem as though it would raise alert in the US allies (meaning any friends) and give a lot of countries an excuse to develop nuclear weapons (keeping in mind the idea of a balance of power and the need to deter possible attacks). However, given the proliferation act and the fact that it would be interesting to see what happens in regards to that.

But if one country arms themselves in the Middle East, I find it plausible that everyone would start doing it, albeit slowly. Let's say Pakistan starts something by invading someone, let's say India... well. BD Two nuclear powers at war would be pretty bad. I find the situation with Israel interesting -- and if there were any conflict to break out, I see the Middle East nations more becoming a third party that criticizes their actions but not necessarily jumping in fully (perhaps backing someone quietly on the Arab side). Because though they may dislike Iran, they don't approve of what happened with Palestine.

However, I also see the USA applying pressure on Israel to take a soft approach and back down to avoid any conflict (seems that with what rhetoric was given last week, the USA wouldn't necessarily jump in blindly). Unless the country got bombed, in which case, thing get a bit ugly. Possible air strikes over the assailant would be most likely and probably occupation of neighboring countries and general bad stuff.

GRANTED, I feel that nuclear weapons are used more as a way to throw weight and get things done. I feel like there would have to be a crazy leader who doesn't care if his country ceases to exist in order for things like this to happen. As much as the image of flinging nuclear weapons is pretty amusing, it's hard to imagine it getting flung like toys.

If North Korea is involved, well, let's not forget about Japan. I've got this strange notion (where did I get it? NO IDEA.) that North Korea would do more than just "friendly testing" into open waters coincidentally close to the island nation. In which case, it would be interesting to see if Japan steps out of the treaty and rearms herself (with USA's help, it would not be difficult). Then starts fighting with North Korea -- maybe South Korea would jump in, who knows. China, pissed about the fact that these things are happening in its sphere of influence would probably cut off all aid that it sends to North Korean and get him to shut up because that's more important than bombing the crap out of everyone slap someone.

But Iran, Pakistan and North Korea were all allied with each other and whatever they pull really does put people in high alert, I imagine that it would be more fought with arms, with the looming possibility that someone may whip out a nuclear weapon.

All this while, France, representing the European Union, is throwing a fit and threatening sanctions and perhaps sending some troops over to help put out the conflict. But given the current economic situation of a few of the member countries, don't know what they would really do. I see Germany siding with France in the situation.

[ukraine]

If it happened now, I would imagine it would start in the middle east. That seems to be where most of the violence has been going on recently.

I don't know much about middle-eastern politics, so I'm not sure what sides everyone would take. But I'm going to try anyway. America supports Israel, right? So if Israel was involved, we would side with them. The UK would side with America because my inner USUK shipper says so they're always on the same side of World Wars and are currently really strong allies. And I can see Russia leading the opposing side.

I agree with Germany that if nuclear weapons were involved, World War IV would be fought with sticks and stones. Hopefully that wouldn't happen, but I can easily imagine it going that way.

[Prussia]

Prussia wins. Don't question it, just accept it.