Post by Germany on Apr 25, 2011 1:42:57 GMT -5
My mother took a sheet of these home with her from the staff lounge at the school where she works. Couldn't resist typing them up and sharing. ;D
______________________________________________________
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bytch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Unicorns,
Noah forgot us too.
Sincerely,
Dinosaurs
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that door for both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go.
Dear Girls Who Have Been Dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea…Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed
Dear Noah,
It’s ok. We caught the train to Hogwarts instead.
Sincerely,
Unicorns and Dragons
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco…
Sincerely,
United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely,
Justin Bieber
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy, ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell-checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of sh!t!
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look, man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified
______________________________________________________
IMAGINARY LETTERS
[/font][/size][/center]Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bytch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Unicorns,
Noah forgot us too.
Sincerely,
Dinosaurs
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that door for both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go.
Dear Girls Who Have Been Dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea…Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed
Dear Noah,
It’s ok. We caught the train to Hogwarts instead.
Sincerely,
Unicorns and Dragons
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco…
Sincerely,
United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely,
Justin Bieber
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy, ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell-checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of sh!t!
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look, man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified
